ROD SCHELLENBERG

About twice a year I’ll pop into Rod’s office. Rod will go boil water, and I’ll look at his table-top rock garden or eye the titles of the books on his shelf. He’ll return with tea, and we will spend an hour or so chatting about poetry, philosophy, and what life has churned up in us. Rod is an artist whose thoughtfulness I’ve always appreciated. He is someone who listens softly, and responds thoughtfully. I’m grateful for the art he creates, the art he recommends, and the way he moves through the world.

I’ve been sitting on this conversation for a year now, so I suppose it is time for me to go back for more tea.

Tal: To start off, what are the career roles that you have held?

Rod: Too many. Lots. A quick CV: Working at a kid’s camp where I went backcountry camping with kids, tree planting, the government roles I’ve held are: project manager, project administration, and at one point primary health care strategy. I was an executive director for Northern Health in B.C. while we did a health care system redesign. Sessional instructor in philosophy. And a pastor. And a whole lot of years of being a student.

Government. Pastoring. Tree planting.

Tal: How did those shape how you create?

Rod: It is a ‘chicken or egg’. With backcountry camping with kids, being a pastor, and teaching philosophy, I like to take people into new places either with “let me show you around” or “let’s explore Plato”. When I preach I try to do that too. Those roles really shaped me. That is how I think about art and creativity and what I want to do.

Most of my jobs have been quite independent. I was always on the edge of the system, not tenured but a contractor - leading from the side - until I became a pastor.  Though pastoring, too, is a form of leading by "coming alongside" people. New York Times columnist and author David Brooks coined the phrase, “The edge of the inside.”  This certainly affects the way I try to create.  I’ve never been the guy with the thing, leading the thing - I’ve always the guy leading from the side.

Tal: What does leading from the side mean to you?

Rod: I might say "influence without force."  Power dynamics are always at work, but there are ways to act and to speak that are less "violent" and more invitational.  An example might be the way Jesus taught using parables.  A simple story invites those who hear to engage out of curiosity, as agents in their own change.  As opposed to being "told" what they ought to do.  I suppose I aspire to leading this way: attentive, serving and respecting others.

Tal: Who is the artist you are today versus the artist you were 20 years ago

Rod: Let’s go thirty years ago, because I am fifty. My twenty-year-old self was more afraid of ambiguity and open space. Now I am more interested in the opening up - even though there are convictions that I hold deeper now. I’m not that interested in resolving. Not that I claim to be a poet. I would have created with an agenda.

And now I am more interested in...

whatever…

I don’t know...

I am interested in humans.

Of all sorts and shapes.

Tal: When you are not doing your pastoral work and your art work, what do you do?

Rod: Well, aside from running and skiing and being a dad, I do read a lot. Right now one book I am reading is Flannery O’Conner - The Habit of Being - which is her collected letters.  She is a important American short story writer from the 1950s and 60s.  She from the South, is a Catholic, and her stories - far from being pious tales- make use of what she called the "grotesque"; bold portrayals of good and evil and the conflict between these inside every one of us.  She had a big influence on all kinds of people. Her letters are amazing - so delightful and laugh out loud. She is a very human person. Her letters talk about the struggles with editors while her whole career was on crutches. When I can’t sleep I read those. She is off-beat and sacrilegious (She talks at one point about the importance of cultivating "Christian skepticism".) She has this irreverence and creative spelling in her corresponding.

Also, she raised peacocks.

Tal: Do you correspond with anyone?

Rod: A habit that I am trying to build into my life is more regular correspondence with friends who are far-aways. Even as a bare minimum of an hour a week. Very intentional.

The monks of the Benedictine order, had a set of habits or patterns that you live under to live out the monastic vocation. That is something I have been more intentional with since my sabbatical last year. I made a spread sheet of my habits. I always read at the breakfast table - because I don’t want to talk to anybody!

I’ve been picking one habit and choosing to develop it, then reviewing it every few weeks to develop it. I’ve been prioritizing my habits - going, “this is a good idea” but I am not implementing it yet, or “I am building it”.

One habit that slipped away was writing - exercises on daily writing. Simply trying to do observational or presentational writing.

Daily writing is something I need to do - tricky as writing sermons is part of my job.

Writing sermons is an art form, it is creativity - but it is different from pure observation of life.

Tal: What is it like being a semi-public figure (being a pastor) in your community?

Rod: To some degree, I am a public figure - being a small town makes me public, but in general today, pastors now are not public. If you are in a city as a pastor, you wouldn’t be a public figure.

Because I am seen as a pastor- regardless of whether the person is in my town or not - it is gift and challenge. It is gift in that you get the strangest kind of interactions and wonderful openings. I don’t have to put myself into someone's space, because I am already there .

The challenge is like that of any public figure, which one has to try to overcome being a figure with relationship.

Wendell Berry is an American author who writes about (among other things) the ways modern society has done much to harm our environment . He describes three spheres, public, community and private.

To explain:

Public - where you are not really known, and are governed by laws.

Community- local and often based on place. True community cares for and also regulates. It creates standards, reciprocation, and care.

Private - true private self.

As a pastor I carry all three, I feel all three. I am Rod, who has lived here for ten years in Hepburn, but I am also Pastor Rod. Hepburn being a relatively faith friendly, it creates a different wake. I think part of being in any professional community is accepting the limits of subsuming into your role.

I believe the individual only flourishes in relationship- as I do. Most of our relationships are not private. There will always be tension- but if I can see the tension as a growth point, the chains and limits of my profession might make me flourish more than if I was a wild horse. When one accepts any of those callings of influence, you are giving yourself over with the belief that that is where human flourishing happens. I’m always wrestling, maybe biting my tongue. But why would I assume the thing inside is greater than the thing I am being given on the outside?

Tal: How would you describe your poetry?

Rod: I think my aspiration these days is that any poem I write would be clear.  Something that can be seen into and seen through.  That the emotional space it brings a reader into wouldn't become more occluded, complex, obscure.  I find this rare in poetry, but when it happens to me -- ah, that's something worth reading.  So much in life is difficult and anxiety-inducing.  A poem shouldn't add to that, but lift something off.   But you were asking about description not aspiration--can I leave it at this and let anyone who reads one of my poems decided how well I'm doing?

Tal: To end things off, is there a poem that you would be comfortable with me sharing?

Rod: Like many artists, I'm rarely happy with a poem--never feel it's finished.  But one I'm quite happy with is really just a short prayer.  I think most humans pray, even if they don't know they're doing it.  We talk about it like it's just wishes or hopes for the day.  Well, that's what this little one is.

A prayer for the daily grind

Go, seek the place of your resurrection.

- St. Gobnait

As this day drips gently into being,

may I be ground fresh,

an aromatic diffusion,

crush of what has been,

now piled just so,

your steaming liquid presence

swirling amid, over, through,

that life may return,

unexpected to these bones,

that, waking, I rise.

Rod Schellenberg

2019-03-18